Forgotten Posts

A friend of mine told me she was starting a blog. I was very excited for her and then I realized I had a blog but I had forgotten to post for months...again.

But fear not! I am still doing crafts. In fact for Easter I went out and purchased a tub of Crayola air drying clay. With all the flare of a drunk person I created two miserably cute clay bunnies. They're kind of like vague bunny lumps but when I painted them they got a bit of personality an I was immensely cheered.

Also I was enamored of a picture of a bunny pillow in a landscaper's magazine. I've yet to attempt another sewing project but when I do, bunny pillow is on the top of the list. Mostly I've been painting odd 60's style partridge family birds. No clue why the obsession but the paintings are vibrant and fun.

On other fronts, I am working on a smaller, pocket book size of My Big Fat Friend, so it will become more affordable in our very depressing economy. I really want to get back to pushing the book. Honestly everyone has read it thinks it's hilarious but I am a marketing moron and really, truly need an agent for my other projects.

What else? I'm still very involved over at Helium.com, writing and rating. My website is about to undergo and overhaul. A lot of the sites I created have since been redesigned. So my porfolio is worn to the woof and needs some refreshing.

So what have you been doing?

Proofreading your own work...& Crafty Christmas

So in December I'm going to be doing the book signing in Millville...And my best friend informed me I have a million mistakes in the manuscript. What have I learned from this? Don't proofread your own work. Because we are all inherently too egotistical to see our own mistakes. So what did I do immediately after hearing that there were mistakes? Yep, I proofread my own work again. I cannot learn...or spell.

The mistake quotient has gone down by a zillion. It's a much more polished work now. I encourage you to buy an advanced copy of my book and bring it with you to the signing. I can only afford a few copies of my own work. Ta!

On the crafting side of things: I informed my friends that it was going to be a super crafty Christmas this year. We're all making each other presents because I am broke. I'm using everything I have left in the tower of crafts. ---my huge metal rack full of yarn and paints and what-nots. I'm pretty excited. I can make some fab presents...if you like scarves. Ha!

I am still hardcore loving needle punch. I even broke my first needle and had to go on out and purchase a 2nd one. I should have gotten a back up. I also got caught crafting on the sofa which the man of the house hates. He fears me and scissors near his brocade couch. His fault, he bought a giant TV. No way can I resist crafting in front of that bad boy.

When my fall pillows are complete I will post them here. Also, in case I forget to blog:

Happy Halloween!

I'm Jack O'Neill from Stargate this year. I got my patches and my brother's old military garb. I already wore it once...But I've got a 2nd party this weekend. I will see if any of my pictures are nice enough for posting later.

Until then, happy crafting, happy Halloween and happy living...I am lame.

Cheers.

Book Signing in December!

That's right, you heard me! I will be in Smithville New Jersey from 12pm-2pm reading from my book and signing copies. I may have other goodies to give out depending on my cash flow. lol. So come see me:

Saturday Dec 6th 12pm - 2pm
Sherlock's Books & Cafe
Smithville Town Center
45 S New York Road
Galloway, NJ 08205

More news as it becomes available! Woo!

Needle Punch & My Big Fat Friend Promotion

How the heck am I supposed to promote my book? I want to buy a distribution package but I'm low on cash. So here I am on my blog to tell you the book came out kick ass! It's Trade size and the cover is glossy which makes it very pretty. I write terrible press releases but I got a wonderful review on it at my lulu store.

Okay enough about my book...which is also available for download and involves a shot contest...and on to the needle punch! I am really getting into needle punch. It's relaxing to stab the fabric repeatedly. Hm, that could indicate some issues down the line, couldn't it? Anyway, I bought a huge pack of floss and started working on my own patterns. I'm hooked on crow and pumpkin themes. I guess when the weather cools off I automatically start thinking Halloween. The only problem with making your own patterns, is color choice is all on you. Sometimes I have to pull rows out because the color is just too drab.

Good thing is that you can needle punch on anything you can get that stabb-y needle through! Stab stab stab! Oh, if you do use a pattern--from which you can choose the oh-so-originals-a cat, flowers or the sun--it's easy and a lot like doing a Paint-By-Number without the horrifically hard containers to open. Did you mean to open green and spill blue all over your pants? Yeah me too. Floss doesn't spill. Score. I bet if you can't draw you could just pick a picture you like and trace it...Just pick a small picture because it takes a while to fill big blocks of color.

Last Tuesday I was in AC Moore and I knew it was Fall because the whole place smelled like those Pumpkin Sachetts. I of course bought one and now am constantly craving pumpkin pie. Like now...at 5:32am. I wish I had some canned pumpkin and a can of condensed milk right now...Anyway--keep on track Karen--Yarn was on sale 2/$1! I went nuts and bought $10 woth and if they would have took trade ins I would have traded my soul for four more balls!

I have so many balls of yarn and am so incapable of making things more complicated then a scarf or blanket. But I do so enjoy it! I have just tons of yarn and promised myself I would nolonger purchase any until I used the gobs of it I have at home. That promise was horrifically shattered by the 2/$1 sale sign. I'm a sucker for a bargain. But now... what the heck am I going to do with all this yarn?

Please God, send me simple patterns for things other then scarves!!! Speaking of scarves, I once knitted the 17' long scarf from Doctor Who. I think that was the greatest accomplishment of my knitting life. Ha!

Okay, the pasta is doing it's thing and making me sleepy finally. So do me a big favor and send me a knitting pattern...or buy my book. I only need to sell 16 more copies to pay for a distribution package. Either way, enjoy your morning. I'm going to bed.

My Big Fat Friend is Up for Sale!

Hey finally after years of revising and revising my chick lit/romantic comedy My Big Fat Friend is finally ready for public viewing! I've already sold 3 copies in two days and I am extremely excited about it! Can't you tell? Here's the painting I did for the cover:

It got one great review... Hopefully more to follow. So go check it out! It's about getting your heart broken, getting drunk, liking the wrong guy and a fuzzy pink book of rules for transforming regular girls into Hot Girls. Plus is has a cute guinea pig too.

Craft Day - Love those Boo-Boo Bunnies!

Okay, so I'm probably going to do a craft show to support my crafting habit. So obviously I'm going to be doing a lot of paintings and original sculpy sculptures and what-nots....But I'm also going to do a crowd favorite: Boo-Boo Bunnies! My mom and I used to make them when we did church bazaars and local craft shows and they're always a big hit. Instructions are all over the internet on how to make them. So if you don't like my instructions there are a zillion other sites for you to check out.


One of the quickest and easiest crafts for a beginner to learn is how to make a Boo-Boo Bunny. A boo-boo bunny has a little ring where you can stick an ice cube for scrapes and bruises and is great for distracting a crying baby.

Supply List:
-1 wash cloth (any color)
-1 large white pompom (for the tail)
-1 small pink pompom (for the nose)
-2 buttons, beads or jiggly eyes (for the eyes)
-1 rubber band
-Hot glue gun & glue

Optional:
-A ribbon can be wrapped around the bunny's body to hide the rubber band.

Crafter Level: Beginner
Time: 20 minutes

Take the cloth and lay it out so one of the corners is facing you. Now tightly roll that corner towards the opposite corner of the cloth, forming a long roll. Fold the roll in half. When it's in half you want to put the side with the least amount of rolls showing. Depending on the size of the cloth you might have no problems but a larger cloth you might see rolls so fold the cloth in half and whichever looks like a whole complete tube side faces up. You've just created the body.

Now, you're going to fold again to create the face and ears. Get your rubber band ready. You want to fold the role in half a second time. Loop the rubber band around the fold, pinching it off into what now looks like the head. Wrap the band tight. Then tug up on the loose ends to create the ears.

Make sure you cover whatever surface you're working on with a garbage bag or an old tablecloth so the glue doesn't damage your table. Since the bunny only takes a few minutes to create, you might want to have already laid out your supplies and plugged in your hot glue gun. If not, you would do it at this point and give the gun a few minutes to heat up. You'll know it's ready when you see a bit of glue dripping out of the gun point.

Do the tail first. Put a dab of glue about the size of a dime on the back of the pompom and place it on the bunny's back end. I like to put it a little above center, it just looks great that way. Put some pressure on the tail for about 10 secs, hot glue sets up fast. When done, turn the bunny around to the face and glue the pink pompom onto the center of the face.

Be careful when gluing on the eyes! Since they're smaller than the other pieces there is a greater chance of you burning your fingers. If you know you're going to get glue on yourself, you might want to invest in a low temperature glue gun, switch to a tacky glue or maybe just use a toothpick to smear the glue onto the back of the eyes. Press the eyes on above the nose.

If you're adding a ribbon, be sure it's larger than the rubber band so you're gluing it to the fabric and not the band, since the heat could melt the rubber and your bunny would fall apart. If you're giving it as a gift you can always put a blue ribbon for a boy or a pink ribbon for a girl or just a simple white ribbon. Doesn't matter, the bunnies are adorable either way!



And you're done! In a few minutes all the glue will be dry and your bunny is ready to go. They're so quick and easy you might want to create an army of bunnies!

Gouache Crazy!

I am terrible at watercolor. I took lessons and um...it wasn't good. But what I am becoming good at is Gouache! Gouache is like a medium somewhere between watercolor and acrylic. It's a water based paint and can be thinned and layered on like water color but it's much more opague which makes it easier for watercolor challenged people like myself to paint something interesting. Above is the painting I did last night called 'Friends.' Hm, there seems to be something slightly sinister about the look in that cat's eyes...

Anyway, I was in the mood to paint. I may paint the Flower Monster Later -ahem, received one rejection and one postcard saying they received the mass...nothing else so far.- I think he would be a fun subject. My Etsy shop hasn't made a single sale thus far so I may have to re-examine the photos and prices later on but now? Happier things!

This painting really got me going on the Gouache. I liked how cute the subject was and how bright the colors are. The original is much brighter then my feeble attempt at photography. Also I liked the subject matter--simple and almost psychedelic in a harmless drug free way. I think I drank diet coke during its creation and maybe some milk...

It inspired me to do another painting called, 'Love or Lunch?' Which features two parrots with different thoughts in their little heads.

I'd love to get a bunch of paintings done and put them on the wall in a coffee shop. I'm in Ocean City, NJ....gotta be coffee shops opening up soon, since it's almost May.

The writing went on the back burner for the last few days. I have a habit of being extremely prolific in one or the other, not both. Apparently it's painting season which kind of throws off my time table for my books in progress.

On happy note two, I sold a copy of my book: Dead Cat Talking and was gratified to find out that the purchaser was freaked out by the stories in broad daylight! Ha! I new I was scary but that is just awesome. The book is 70 pages long, wire-O bound and tiny which makes it a perfect book to stash in your purse, laptop bag or even back pocket.

If you're an Ozmia fan, there's a new design for this year. You can see that on the Ozmia Shop. What else? Oh, I'm reading a book called 'A Pig Tale' so look for a review on Liter Alley in the near future.

Wait, one more happy note: I was recently asked to do covers for the Doctor Who Project. I created two covers and received high praise. If you haven't heard of them, the DWP created a continuing season for Doctor Who after the 1988 season ended on the BBC. They have won numerous awards and are really a great place to read fantastic science fiction based on one of the best lived characters in sci-fi, the mysterious Doctor. I'm in season 35. My covers are for Aurum In Plumbum and Nine Days.

I may eventually write for them if I ever remember to get back to fellow author and best friend Samantha Warner. She's very involved with the DWP. This is what those awesome people had to say about me:

Our newest artist comes to us courtesy Samantha Warner. We're always on the lookout for new artists to join the TDWP team and Samantha recommended Karen Kalbacher to us. Karen sent us a few samples of her work and we were very impressed with what we saw so we invited her to work with us. We're glad to have Karen on board and she created covers for our two historical stories "Aurum In Plumbum" and "Nine Days".

Best review I've had in years, thanks guys!