Tonight's the Night for Insomnia
Chris is already asleep. His prospects are good. Second interview, new job maybe? I hope so. I like when he's happy and employed. Me on the other hand, I have got to get organized. Make some money. Make a life. Get this writing thing on track.
I did an interview with a local band ...in theory(intheoryrocks.com - I did the website too). I have yet to transcribe it. My writing has gone from 500 words a night to nothing. It's funny. I just got a story accepted for the summer issue of Flashquake (check it out, I'm under Editor's Pick) and I haven't written a single word since.
Is fear of success possible at this point?
Am I afraid that if I continue to write I might be able to rake in $30 bucks a month in published stories? Maybe. Eh, I make about three cents an hour doing web sites for friends. That'll get the bills paid. I think my whole problem is I'm letting everything get away from me. I need to organize my time, my writing and my friends to make it all worthwhile. Maybe even profitable.
Excitement over having my art on the wall in August (Taming of the Brew in Bala Cynwyd) is growing. Only I haven't been able to finish a painting I started last week. I'm just dragging all over. How do people control their self destructive tendencies (frazzled-ish-ness)?
I like lists. I like writing everything down and crossing them off one by one. Even now as I type these basically random thoughts down, I am thinking of the line I can draw through: Update Blog. Isn't that weird?
Maybe I need a bigger list. Maybe I need one that has a list of everything I ever want to do on it. Would that push me? Would I work until three in the morning to cross off: Learn Life's Goal? Or maybe: Master Jedi mind tricks... I *really* want that one. Huh.
I'll give it a shot.
Might even post it here and cross things off as I go along. I've got a few of them done already. I've been published. I've found love... (true love for MacGyver and normal love for Chris) I'm having my art put on a wall.
So my prospects can't be all bad. Just wish I had sleepy-time pills like he does because I am wide awake every night until two.
I did an interview with a local band ...in theory(intheoryrocks.com - I did the website too). I have yet to transcribe it. My writing has gone from 500 words a night to nothing. It's funny. I just got a story accepted for the summer issue of Flashquake (check it out, I'm under Editor's Pick) and I haven't written a single word since.
Is fear of success possible at this point?
Am I afraid that if I continue to write I might be able to rake in $30 bucks a month in published stories? Maybe. Eh, I make about three cents an hour doing web sites for friends. That'll get the bills paid. I think my whole problem is I'm letting everything get away from me. I need to organize my time, my writing and my friends to make it all worthwhile. Maybe even profitable.
Excitement over having my art on the wall in August (Taming of the Brew in Bala Cynwyd) is growing. Only I haven't been able to finish a painting I started last week. I'm just dragging all over. How do people control their self destructive tendencies (frazzled-ish-ness)?
I like lists. I like writing everything down and crossing them off one by one. Even now as I type these basically random thoughts down, I am thinking of the line I can draw through: Update Blog. Isn't that weird?
Maybe I need a bigger list. Maybe I need one that has a list of everything I ever want to do on it. Would that push me? Would I work until three in the morning to cross off: Learn Life's Goal? Or maybe: Master Jedi mind tricks... I *really* want that one. Huh.
I'll give it a shot.
Might even post it here and cross things off as I go along. I've got a few of them done already. I've been published. I've found love... (true love for MacGyver and normal love for Chris) I'm having my art put on a wall.
So my prospects can't be all bad. Just wish I had sleepy-time pills like he does because I am wide awake every night until two.
posted by Karen at
1:39 AM
2 Comments:
Hi Karen,
I just read your blog and can totally identify with you're feelings of frustration, procrastination and other artistic and unemployed dilemas.
Ive found I write better when I'm not trying to write for any other reason than just to write. Most writers I know of, even after publishing many full length books, still have day jobs. Damn shame too, isn't it, that we can't all earn as much as Stephen King, kick back and relax and be creative anytime we want. Don't let that fear of success get to you until you make as much money as Mr. King, then and only then can you relax.
Do what makes your heart soar and you will truly be free. I don't know why it works, but it does.
Peace, love & inspiration...
Hippie Chick
Hi, I found your blog through the NaNoWriMo website. I added you as a writing buddy over there. My name on NaNo is zoonbaby, and my blog is at www.livejournal.com/users/sitdownshutup
Good luck with your writing!
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